HOW TO SLAUGHTER A CHICKEN

This is probably the longest post i have so far.

I actually know this by heart. It's a feeling similar to memorizing the shortest verse in a religious text. I'm actually a certified expert in chicken slaughtering, i offer services just order at: ianjob244@gmail.com. Thank you very much. Now; okay you will obviously need the main culprit or is it victim, whatever. Get the hen or cork you want to kill, yeah all you animal rights' keep your opinions to others but me. In some large community a chicken is much sweeter after you out-chase it. Never mind though.

Take a sharp knife, a blunt knife is being inhumane. Hold the bird firmly on the ground and make sure the blood won't spill all over you.You can hold it down by it's wings and feet. Stretch out the head being in your palm. Cut fast just beneath the beak, control the bleeding in whatever way you know best. You may prepare the head or be generous to some cat or dog. Find some extremely hot water and deep the dead bird in. This loosens the feathers, then carefully without burning yourself pluck the feathers off, the scales from the feet and beak. 

Then you may as well get rid of the scarce fur that still remains by placing the featherless bird over a small fire or charcoal.

Take the naked chicken and slice it into smaller pieces by cutting along the joints. Now; near it's rear, make a small incision, enough for your hand to go through. Get your hand in there and pull out the insides, all of them. Sort them out and mind the green bag, gallbladder. everyone says it's poisonous, oh it will make the meat bitter. Well i have never tried it out but you can try it out for me ... please! (I'm not begging) Enough. Now; wash the meat and cook it however you want, boil it, steam it, barbecue it, fry it (personal favorite) or make a stew with it,include potatoes, tomatoes, onions spices oil and all. Eat with anything, Ugali, Rice, Chapati, anything carbohydrate. For those of you who are scared, remember this is food not a pet, FOOD. I know this posting is vague but as Nadia Favre is fond of saying at her 105.5 Xfm show. If you didn't understand it, then it's your own damn fault. PS though: I'm always here to clarify and explain anything.